TRADITION!!!

Anyone else hear a large group of Jewish singers? I thought so.

Anyways…what is tradition? It is what holds a group of people or family together. That brings into question what is a family. Let’s start with what a family isn’t. A family does not have to be bound by amino acids, meaning, genetics have very little do with family. I have sisters that I’ve never met, and some that I have, all of which are very very special to me and with whom I communicate far more often than I do my own sibling, mostly because he doesn’t return my calls.

So what is family? Family is love. Pure and simple. The English language has got to be the most lacking language on the planet because of the fact it has so very few iterations of the word Love. But think about…The love between husband and wife, the love between parent and child, the love between children, the love amongst true friends…all the glue that binds a family. If you choose to exit the family…guess what…you chose to leave the love and support of that family behind. This means you don’t get to keep the traditions either.

So guess what…nope, not carving pumpkins with you. Never did like doing that much, what I am doing is what I always wanted to do. I’m going to a Samhain party complete with apple bobbing and bonfire. Why am I doing this? Because I can. Yep put that in your pipe and smoke it, you judgmental snot. I am being true to WHO I am and I’m going to raise my family the way I see fit and your traditions are fake because obviously you have NO idea what traditions and family really are.

Not going to do the usual Thanksgiving either. I’m thinking deep fried turkey, corn bread stuffing and cherry pie. Oh, and guess who isn’t invited. That’s right, boy toy. So sorry, not part of MY family. I’ll bring you a plate, if I’m feeling magnanimous that day. Don’t count on it.

Christmas? I think we’ll do Hanukah and then Yule, heck maybe even Kwanza. What I do know is that peace and light and joy will be celebrated, even if there aren’t so many gifts to share. And only those that understand peace and joy and love will be invited.

I’m doing just fine without you. How would you do without me? Oh and since for some strange reason this blog ended up being all about you…how about we cover this part as well. You’re a liar and an immature brat who thinks only about keeping score. GROW UP. And be good, for one day, just one day. Don’t say anything mean, don’t launch another volley, just BE HAVE. If my brother and I behaved like this you’d send us both to our rooms for crying out loud. You’re 58 and 60, been married for 35 years. One would think that you could maybe just maybe try to be civil. Because this is getting just ridiculous, it really is.

Now there’s a new tradition. From now on Wednesdays are universal don’t fight day. NO FIGHTING ON WEDNESDAYS!!! Who’s in? (I figured I’d give you 36 hours notice so you could get used to the idea). Chants NO FIGHTING NO FIGHTING NO FIGHTING ON WEDNESDAYS!!!!

God help me I think it may soon be time for the big guns if ya’ll don’t start behaving.