Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Nashvegas

Met with The Company yesterday and they were very nice.  Far smaller than I thought, but very nice and in a great area.  I fell in love with Nashville.  I think DH did as well because we both are suffering from “smalltown-it is” and are cranky.  Being in Nashvegas with him was great and I want to go back so badly.  I can do the work, and they need me now to convince them of that since Boss/Father is being pissy about things, not that I blame him since his life is in the toilet, but I’m not the one who flushed it.  I sense jealousy from him that there’s a future out there for me, but I can’t live my life for him anymore.  

Best part about this whole move thing is that I can’t wait to have a place for just my family where we can discover and learn about a new city.  Nashville is beautiful, and warm, even the traffic isn’t that bad, you just have to be patient with it. A couple of my other friends are looking for new jobs as well, so send all your “Good Job” vibes our way, and for the one about to pop too!

So much change, I should be terrified, but you know what, I don’t think I am.

Monday, March 20, 2006

More job stuff...

Well now…

I have two interviews tomorrow in Nashvegas and the other job that dropped me is asking me to come up and train with them and do some remote work for them at a very nice price.  I’m a bit stunned.  More than anything, right now I just want to curl up and make the world go away for just a tiny little bit.  I know change is good and all that, and I’ll embrace it, but does it really have to move this quickly? (  The weekend was good up until dad decided that chasing me down was a good idea and that really bugs me when he does that which probably is adding to my stress level.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Obladi oblada

You know, one good thing that came about during all of this mess is that I have come to understand an aspect of my husband I’ve never experienced before in any relationship.  He really is behind me 100%.  I have never heard nor seen him as angry as he was with this company.  I honestly believe that if he could have throttled someone he would have, meanwhile he was caring and gentle with me.  I have to admit the two sides of the coin are incredibly attractive.

Friday we spent time with DS and his birthday which was strained to the max for him.  On Saturday we got up and realized we were all edgy and really didn’t want to be at home so we piled into the car.  Great therapy.  Unclaimed freight was a huge let down so we headed to Chattanooga.  Car runs great, it should since repairing it put a huge bite into the moving fund.  Went to Barnes and Nobel and found two really neat inexpensive books, one in C# and one in PhotoShop for myself and the hubby.  Oh…we went out to breakfast too so that DS could have his favorite pancakes since dinner the night before was so uncomfortable.  We went to the used book store and there staring me in the face was the O’Reilly C# Cookbook for $10 which is a great buy so I’m all stocked up on programming texts, and I admit to buying a romance novel as well.  DS got to spend his birthday money on books and then the left over on a two stage rocket thingamabobber he played with all day on Sunday.  Sunday was more edginess but I did get some homework done.

The Business manager from the company is hounding me for writing, code, and webdesign samples.  DH is encouraging me to send them and I think he’s right.  I could use the feedback and the possibility for part time contract work is hard to pass up.  I doubt I’d ever trust this company to hire me full time but additional work is always a good thing.  

What will be will be.  Nothing else I can do, really.  I just hope that these requests for information are legit and not this guy basically trying to let me down easy, which never works on me anyways.



Friday, March 10, 2006

Too good to be true

Oh well, guess I won’t be going to Nashville shrug. They called to say that they didn’t need me right now, maybe later. Year right…like I’m going to trust them again. I can say all the things one says right now like, These things happen, I don’t need them any way, God doesn’t shut a door without opening a window…blah, blah, blah, but right now it just doesn’t seem to matter. I’m disappointed. Mostly because, well I was looking forward to the time away with DH in a new place and a schance to really get a feeling for how thing worked in the busines. There isn’t much more to say, I guess. I’m sad, and hurt and ashamed even thought I know I had nothing to do with this. But I guess this means I have more time to write code, and now I can sleep in tonight. After celebrating my newly minted 12 year old’s birthday of course. I sent the guy an e-mail apologizing for my attitude, assuring him I held no ill will against him and wished him all the best. What else is there to do, really?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Bonzai!!!!

I’m going for it.  I report at 9:30 Monday morning!  I am soooooooo excited.  I was panic stricken for the past 36 hours, but you know what, I can’t wait!  Come back here often, I’ll keep you up to date on this new adventure!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Meep...

Seems they liked my 3.  They just offered me $18 an hour for 6 weeks, but I’d have to commute 90 miles one way, so basically 200 miles a day to work.  In a car that is less than reliable.

Now what do I do?

A 3?

The job search continues.  Had a good lead, got stumped on a “rank yourself from 0-10” question.  No excuses, I simply had no idea how to answer the question.  The more I thought about this during my walk this morning the more I realized that there was no right answer.  Had I said “I can’t possibly do so with the information given” I would have been too timid.  Had I said “I’m a 3” I would have lacked ambition.  I said “5 or 6” which I comprehended as slightly above average and he blasted me telling me I’d be lucky to be a 3.  At first I was really peeved about this, but you know what.  This 3 would have been one of the better 3s he would have seen come through his office.  I don’t want to work for a company that treats people that way.

I was really depressed about it last night, covers over my head depressed.  I’ve got over it.  Updated my Monster Resume, added something to the over all one and I’m going to work on my portfolio tonight.  I may be down, but I’m sure not out.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

It is soooo..

Not all about you.

After sitting here for a good hour listening to someone go on and on and on about something going on in their life and realizing they honestly think it's all about them, I came to a conclusion. It isn't all about anyone. That's a hard thing to understand when you really think about it. Not even the stuff going on in my life is all about me. I'm just a part of the whole big thing. Sure there are moments when I get to say look at me, but really, even my life isn't all about me. We have to work together, live together, love together and lose together.


Be nice to people, you don't get to be a snot and then figure everything is going to be ok. If you are nice then guess what, you don't get to complain when bad things happen to you. Honestly, call it what you want, but what you put out there into the world is in all likelyhood what you're going to get back. Is it so hard to let someone into traffic ahead of you? To acknowledge when you made a poor choice, take the consequences, learn and move on instead of raging at how unfair life is? Geez, get over yourself.


Just be nice. Anything else is asking for trouble and if you ask for it, don't come whining to me about how you just got your butt kicked by life.

Oh...and all the poop that is happening...is YOUR fault, not mine, so don't expect me to stick around to watch you go down. Doesn't matter how old you are, how "Christian" you have acted, and how much information you know about people, or how much you rant and rave. In the end you are still, like all of us, an ugly bag of mostly water.

Life is going to be good for us three and what is going on right now is just buying me time and money so that when the time does come I can just leave and know that I don't ever have to come back.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I'll be a good worker bee..

---the bestest, I promise.

After apologies and what not...not to mention a good hard look at my budget, I'm back at work. Every tiny pay check is that much less that has to come out of the moving fund. To say work is bad is an understatement. It's a sinking ship, and everytime I plug a whole my boss blows a bigger one. I can't save him from himself and he blames everything on me.

I'm applying for jobs in the Chattanooga/Nashville area and I've gotten a number of nudges, even a nibble, but that's it. I've got a 3.9, I'm an adult, I work my tail off and I can't find a job in the 100+ resumes I've handed out. So at the risk of sounding horribly desperate...

Would someone please hire me, please. I'm a hard worker, I'm smart, a quick study, and I'll be loyal to a fault. I feel like the older dog at the end of the hall at the pound watching all the puppies go before me.

On an up note, there's a future out there somewhere and a nummy dinner waiting for me at home. DH loves me, gods only know why, and we'll manage this. Now I just need to survive the next...75 minutes.